Mr Z...

Thanks Aijay, Allied, Belle & Writefreak
I was going to blog about N0s 1 -3 (X,Y,Z) in order of occurence but seeing that Mr Z is the most recent, am thinking maybe i should do it backwards...

Z and i worked in the same company( he had been working there some six years b4 i joined).
I was still in my 5 year old relationship and so even though i admired him as per carriage and all, that was where it ended. even after my relationship ended, it was the same - we would meet on the corridor/staircase, say hi and be on our merry way.
The only thing i noticed about him was he was looked too introverted (so not my type of person)

About two years later, Z left the country on secondment to work in a similar company in the UK.
i walked by his office one day, saw his desk was cleared and was told he had left. so i got his email address and harassed him for leaving without saying bye (as per corridor padi levels) he replied and we started our email friendship from there... (not regularly oh, like once a month kind of )

Anytime I came into the UK for vacation and stuff we would hook up: see movies and just generally catch up on jist (with some other friends from the office)
.... all the while, i remember thinking, Mehn, this dude is a nerd on the highest level

Then early this year, things took a turn and we became texting buddies.
my phone bills went up like mad...
he wasnt my kind of person (he was too closed up) but work was killing me and he was a nice "distraction" plus he had the craziest, nicest sense of humour on the block!.

We sent sms throughout the day, texting back and forth (mostly about nothing) like it was a competition.
It was really fun for me...and then we started getting close.
very soon he became my confidante, i usually couldnt wait to talk to him (he always managed to have something good to say).
then the calls started, at first once or twice a week, then it became everyday...

i suppose it occurred to me for the first time that there was "something" when i realised i wouldnt be able to sleep until he had made his "ritual call" and we would talk and talk.

but he didnt "say" anything, so i figured big deal? at this time my friends had already started teasing me but it was like water off a ducks back.

Then, i was also seconded to the UK for a one year course (hmmm) and things got really interesting... i was around for two weeks before i went to my own place (which is 7 hours away from him) and those two weeks were... lets just say it kinda confirmed to me that he had something up his sleeve

By my 4th month here, i was smitten. it was like he was with me everywhere...we talked like tomorow was going to expire...

he was just there for me, patient , prayer buddy, 247 listener...did i mention that he showed up at my door one day? without warning! I was positive i was going to faint that day (both from joy and confusion).
when he was leaving that day, he gave me his credit card with the password. said he had a £3k limit on it and that i could have it (bcos he wanted me to be comfortable)!

Anyway, in the middle of all this he still hadnt "said" anything but he had managed to "shadow" me completely. i had no best friend, no toaster, nothing! Just him and God

The most unnerving was how he would swing from sweet, sweet Z to telling me stuff like "thats what big bros are for".
i woke up one morning and realised i was acting in "Love that never was" part 3 (X & Y being 1&2).
it was becoming a vicious cycle (story same, lead actress same, just different guys)

One day, i summoned courage and sent him a mail . Summary was something like - dude what are u up to?

It took him a while to reply and when he did, summary was - he wants to be friends till when/if something comes up. He's scared of committing cos he doesnt want to hurt me and while he is waiting, i am free to move on

Friends, this is where i am... we still talk everday and thats because over and above all the flying emotions, he has come to become my bestest friend and i am trying to not throw that away

(plus i still have the credit card..lol) , actually, plus he is not ready to stop being my friend

What kind of prayer do you make in such situations? that God should chase him away, bring someone else or make him talk?
and yeah, what about how i feel???